Them and Us

June 2016

My teenage daughter recently suggested if I wanted to fit in with the other parents at her school that I should tie my hair back and stop waving my arms around so much as I speak. If only my hair was under control and the crazed gesturing minimised, I would be like ‘them’. I was surprised at her advice as I thought my peculiar eccentricities were what made me interesting; quirky perhaps but at least different. But it seems ‘different’ can feel uncomfortable, threatening or even frightening. It suggests that there may be other ways to do things. It suggests that ‘things’ may not be black or white, or even right or wrong . . . that I may threaten the status quo and question ‘why’.

There has been a lot of rhetoric about ‘them’ and ‘us’ in political and cultural discourses lately. I find the language troubling because it generates a binary form regulating identity, and categorising people (and ideas) as oppositional. Them&Us rhetoric does not allow for nuanced thinking: for the space between. ‘They’ are the cause of problems; ‘we’ are the ones with correct answers. I’ve noticed people in positions of power tend to talk in slogans that reinforce a divisive Them&Us. The language gathers the group of Us, inscribing authority and reinforcing power and power systems to keep Us in a dominant position of Same.

Yet the differences of the Other is what allows for changes: good, constructive, innovative changes. Diversity of opinion permits questioning of dualistic thinking and suggests there is a spectrum of possibilities for any one situation or position. There is hope. There are options to unsettle exclusionary practices discursively constructed by Them&Us rhetoric.

I have always been drawn to creative expression as an avenue to address dualistic thinking and tackle binary structures. The movement of one body towards the other is the dance of discourse: a sacred and intimate gesture of peace wherein the distinctions of Them&Us disintegrates. I encounter this ‘space between’ as a site of equity – and place of responsiveness to another Human Being. This is not body OR mind; it is spirit AND flesh. And in my vulnerability; in my sharing of self as I am, hair flying, laughter cackling, arms flailing in wild abandon . . . I hold eternity and understanding of another soul with gentle respect and quiet awe. This is the space of our togetherness. Encountering the Self in the Other challenges Them&Us . . . it changes the way we think and feel. Yes, maybe it is also threatening. But move closer; smile a little. As we take a chance on embracing another person’s perspective, brilliant awareness is birthed in the beauty of our shared humanity.

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